Life After Kurt
by CountingCrow16
Summary: Blaine pays a visit to Kurt's grave several years after his death. Follow-up to my story Dead Like Kurt. Make sure you read Dead Like Kurt first, or this story won't make any sense. COMPLETE


**Author's note: I know I wrote this in the summary, but DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ DEAD LIKE KURT. This is a follow-up to tie up some of the loose ends that didn't get covered at the end of Dead Like Kurt. Thanks for reading and I'd love to know what you think about it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, Dead Like Me or Dead Like Me: Life After Death**

* * *

_Saturday, April 25__th__, 2015_

"Are you sure this is okay? I can drop you off at the house first, if you want."

"Blaine, I've told you a hundred times, it's okay. I want you to do this and I want to be there with you."

Blaine gave him a nervous half-smile as he finally turned the car off and pulled the key out of the ignition. They'd been sitting in the small gravel parking lot for about ten minutes just talking, but now it was time to do what they came to do.

"Alright," Blaine sighed, turning to his passenger. "Are you ready?"

"Why don't you go ahead? Take a few minutes by yourself and I'll join you in a while."

Blaine hadn't thought about asking that, but he was eternally grateful that the other man did. Blaine nodded in silent agreement and stepped out of the car. Walking around to the back, he opened his trunk and pulled out the bouquet of roses he'd picked up at the florist an hour prior and began making the short trek to Kurt's grave.

He slowed his pace as he arrived and stooped to clear off the stone before gingerly placing the flowers down. He remained crouched there, tracing the words etched in the stone lightly and lovingly with his forefinger. Taking a few deep breaths to prepare himself, he began to speak.

"Hey, Kurt. I, um, I know it's been awhile…too long since I've been out here and I'm so sorry about that. It's been three years since you died and it still hurts. Some mornings I wake up and I'm so happy because in my dreams you're still there, smiling and laughing and loving me. But then it hits me that you're gone, and that's always the worst part of my day, no matter what else happens.

"It's getting better, though, finally. It's a slow process, but each day is a little bit easier. I don't know if you're out there somewhere, watching over me. I know you didn't believe in God or heaven, but Kurt, it's the only thing that's kept this process bearable for me. Believing that you aren't completely gone. Believing that there is something after death.

"Anyway, if you were watching me after you passed, you know that I struggled a lot. We all did. I did something I'm not proud of and I still don't understand all the details from that night, but I do know this. It was a miracle that saved my life. I don't know if it was an angel or what, but someone was there to stop me from going through with taking my own life and I'll never forget what he said to me. He said, 'Kurt wouldn't want you to do this, it would break his heart.' And those words changed everything for me. I'd lost you, Kurt. I'd lost you in the worst possible way and knowing how much that hurt me and your family and everyone else…I couldn't do that to your memory. Even when things hurt so bad I thought I couldn't survive it, I remembered those words and it was the memory of you that kept me strong.

"I guess if you were watching that, you probably saw everything that happened before that…with Finn, I mean. It was confusing, you know? I think both of us were trying to figure out how to cope with everything and neither of us knew how the hell we were supposed to do it. When we lost you, we lost so many other things too. Your dad, Kurt, he couldn't function for the longest time and neither could Carole. All the Glee kids, they'd never experienced anything like this before and had no idea how to approach us. In the end, Finn and I felt like we were the only ones who understood each other and we were so desperate and lonely, that…things got out of control.

"I don't regret Finn kissing me and I don't think he regrets doing it. In that moment, we were both drowning and neither of us wanted to go under. The fallout was bad, as much as we tried to work through it, things were never quite the same. I still consider him my closest friend and there will never be someone else that understands what it was like for me to lose you quite like him.

"We talk about once a week now and we try to get together whenever we're both in town. In fact, he and Rachel are arriving this afternoon from New York, so we'll be seeing them for dinner. Surprisingly, Rachel was actually alright with the whole kiss incident once she and Finn patched things up. She says since she experimented with me, it was only fitting that Finn do the same. I will never fully understand that girl.

"She and Finn are planning a fall wedding, just a few months away. Finn's asked me to be his best man, but I know that if you were here, you'd be the one standing up there with him. I'm beyond honored to stand in your place though, Kurt. I just wish more than anything you could be there.

"I'm pretty sure your dad comes out here at least once a week, but just in case it's been awhile, I'll give you an update. He's doing great, Kurt. It was so devastating for him, and I just know that if you were there watching him, you'd be worried sick, but things are better now. He's one of the strongest people I've ever met and he's kind of adopted me into the Hummel-Hudson family. He didn't really give me much of a choice in the matter, but I'm definitely not complaining. I stop by your house whenever I'm in town and he even comes to my recitals at school when I invite him. He misses you more than anything, but I think carrying on a relationship with me helps him imagine what life for you would have been like had you graduated and headed off to college, pursuing your dreams.

"I guess that brings the story around to me. I graduated two springs ago from McKinley. It was hard to stay there after you were gone and some days I wanted to go running and screaming back to Dalton, but McKinley was where your heart was, and I wanted to be there too. I got a music scholarship to Ohio State in Columbus. I'm studying Music Performance in Piano and I'm loving every minute of it. Sometimes I miss the singing and dancing, but there's nothing like the feel of those keys under my fingers. It's my dream and I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to pursue it.

"I've made some great friends at OSU, most of them in the program I'm in. They're funny and supportive and just a great group of people. They remind me of the best from both McKinley and Dalton and I know that if you were still here, you would fit right in. Of course, you wouldn't be at little old OSU, would you? Maybe I wouldn't be either. I probably would have followed you to New York with Finn and Rachel and found my dreams there. I can't say whether or not I would have found what I was looking for there, but if you were there, I'm sure I would have been just fine.

"Anyway, I've met some really awesome people. One, um…one in particular has been especially great. His name is Jared and he's a pianist too. We met during freshman orientation and we've been close ever since. About eight months ago, he asked if I would date him and I said yes. Kurt, it was one of the hardest, scariest things I've ever done. I didn't date after you died. There was this one guy, shortly after the accident that started working at the Lima Bean that I felt inexplicably drawn to, and I don't know if it was just because I was feeling so out of control, or confused or what, but for some reason I felt like I had to know him and be involved with him somehow. He made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me though, and then before I knew it, Finn kissed me and I tried to…well, you know.

"After that, I just gave up on trying to have a romantic relationship with anyone. You were it, Kurt. I was so sure that you and I were soul mates and that we would be together forever. I stubbornly held onto the notion that if I couldn't have you, I didn't want anyone else. I didn't think anyone else was going to be able to make me as happy as you, so I didn't bother looking. I know that guys hit on me and flirted with me. It is college, after all. But I blocked it all out. Until Jared told me he wanted to be more than friends, that is.

"I fought him for a long time. I told him I was damaged goods, I said some really mean things to him to try to get him to back off. I was scared, Kurt. I was afraid that if I allowed myself to fall in love with someone, that I might lose them like I lost you. I didn't think I'd be able to survive another experience like that and I was too afraid to risk it.

"He's persistent, though. He took the abuse over and over and patiently waited for me to come to my senses. He didn't give up on me the way I'd given up on myself and finally, one day, I said yes. It hasn't been perfect, I still have my guard up a lot of the time, but the walls are slowly starting to come down. I can finally see myself being happy with someone in the future, and for the very first time, I've allowed that someone to be a person other than you.

"I know you'd like him though, Kurt."

Blaine looked up to see Jared slowly coming up the path, a single rose from the bouquet in his grasp. Blaine could see that he was taking his time, allowing Blaine to finish up whatever he needed to say to Kurt in private. He motioned for Jared to come up with him and within a minute, Jared was by his side.

"Jared, this is Kurt. Kurt, this is Jared," Blaine said nervously. He worried that Jared would think this was weird, bringing him to meet his dead high school sweetheart, but never once did Jared give him that impression when he first tentatively mentioned the idea a week ago.

"It's nice to meet you finally, Kurt," Jared spoke after clearing his throat. Blaine watched him study Kurt's grave silently. He watched the way Jared's dark blond hair fluttered softly in the breeze, the way his eyes sparkled with a deep understanding and compassion for what this had to be like for Blaine. He wasn't Kurt, and he would never try to substitute someone for Kurt, but he was wonderful in his own ways. Comparing Jared to Kurt or vice versa wouldn't be fair to either of them.

After a few more minutes of silence, Blaine lifted his gaze from the stone to look at Jared.

"I think I said everything I wanted to say," Blaine said quietly. "Are you ready to go?"

"Would it be okay if I took a moment alone with Kurt?" Jared asked, earnestly seeking permission from Blaine. Blaine hadn't been expecting him to say that, but he obliged, giving Jared a quick hug before making his way down the path alone. Once he was out of earshot, Jared kneeled down, placing his rose on top of the bouquet that Blaine left earlier.

"Kurt, I know that we just met, but I want you to know that I really care about Blaine. I'm in love with him, actually. I have been since we met two and a half years ago. He's been through so much, but you would be so proud of him. He's come so far and he's destined for so many wonderful things. I just hope that he keeps letting me share his life with him.

"I don't know what I believe about heaven or God or an afterlife, but Blaine is pretty positive that you're still here, watching over him. I hope you are, and I'd like to think that you would approve of me being in his life. I promise you that I will take care of him, as long as he lets me. You are always going to hold a special place in his heart, the one part that I will never occupy and I understand that. The fact that he still loves you so much speaks volumes about who he is as a person and I would never try to take that from him. You are part of what makes Blaine who he is and I want to thank you for helping to shape him when you were alive.

"I should go now. Blaine's probably worried about what we're doing up here alone, but I just wanted to tell you thank you. And I hope that, through Blaine, I can help carry your legacy. I'm meeting your brother Finn and his fiancée tonight for the first time, and tomorrow, Blaine is taking me home to meet your dad. I wasn't so sure about that at first, but Blaine assured me that your father wants to meet the person who's taking care of his "other son" now. You come from some great people, Kurt."

Jared let his hand linger on the stone for another moment before slowly getting up to head toward the car. If he'd been looking past the stone by a bank of trees about fifty yards out, he would have seen the two young men sitting there, watching quietly and contemplatively throughout the entire morning. When Jared left with his back to them, one of the men pulled the other into a tight embrace, whispering something in his ear before they headed off in the opposite direction, hand in hand.


End file.
